Bachelor and a Bottle; 6th Glass

Editors Note: Catfish Carl has been given complete creative freedom from the FTS Team. His undying love for The Bachelor and wine makes for a unique mix of chaos and confusion in his articles. Quite frankly, we love them. Hope you do too!

First things first…death, taxes, Mykenna crying. How does she produce so much tears? Santiago, Chile is a beautiful city, and shockingly populous. Sanitago, Chile has almost 2 million more residents than Los Angeles, California. First date goes to Hannah Ann which is not a surprise. At this point Peter is trying to solidify his strongest relationships with how many are left. I am having a hard time wondering why Peter is struggling with Hannah Ann not being in love before. But at the same time, the way she answers the questions, it seems like she is in front of judges. It may not be scripted, but it seems like it isn’t…there. This reminds me so much of when Karen was in trouble and complimented Michael about his tie to change the subject. But in this case, I am falling in love with you, and it actually worked. Victoria F gets her second one on one and it is CHAOS with all of the other women.

Drama at the Group Date

HA! Got you with the click bait! You thought there was drama, but the date is really a drama tv show. *editor please add plankton evil laugh gif. Mykenna the maid is hilarious and rings a bell. If she cries over a dirty room her cycle of The Bachelor will be complete. I wonder what Peter will be? Will Peter be a cop? Firefighter? Attorney? NO WAY, HE IS A PILOT?! Kelly may be the hottest damn gilf I have ever seen. Her accent is spot on as well, could not even tell she was American. Side note I am a huge fan of how the director yells out action. HOW ARE ALL OF THESE WOMEN JUST COOL WITH PETER MAKING OUT WITH EVERY SINGLE ONE?…….CHRIS HANSON YOU BEAUTIFUL SON OF A BITCH!!!!!

After Party of Group Date

Kelsey still looking solid, which I have heard nothing brings two lost souls together quite like and romantic streets of Cleveland, Ohio. Victoria P with glasses is such a damn good look, I mean she is gorgeous. But then again she reminds my of a much younger Roz from Monsters Inc. I don’t know if it is 3/4 of this bottle thinking so, but I am willing to bet it is. And now I feel like an ass making a joke and Peter just told her he does not see her being his wife. You have to think that Victoria P is talking about Hannah Ann, right? F YOU PETER. You are really going to make her stop from getting into that vehicle just to say “I am so grateful for meeting you” and letting her get into the vehicle? Big time ass hole move.

Peter and Madison Share a Moment

It could not be more obvious how crazy Peter is for Madison. The way they giggle each time they are around each other makes it obvious. When Peter is alone with her, it seems like they just have their own reality show. Madison is a solid lock in my eyes, and I don’t see that changing anytime soon.

Tammy the Antagonizer

Tammy is starting to show her true colors. She is more than willing to snap at people and make comments, and is clueless to her actions. Tammy has that Survivor mentality of trying to knock out people rather than just making a strong connection. Kelsey with the all time clap back. Kelsey calling Tammy the alcoholic is an all time full circle with the drama. I am pumped that Peter say his way through the Tammy crazy bullshit, but you have to assume Tammy is going to tell him Mykenna had her bags packed. Peter makes the right pick and gives Madison the rose, and there was no more drama….NOT!

Peter and Victoria F Hump……..Back Ride Horses

Crawling under horses is not a real thing. I would bet my fin that horse does not give a darn what weirdo crawls under them. Nothing is more romantic than sitting in the back of a rustic wagon in the middle of Chile. Can I just say I don’t like Victoria F. She seems to be too insecure and almost play that card. You have all of this time in the world, and when you get alone time you want to cry and show weakness? I feel it is important to show vulnerability, but this is not it. Good for Peter to tell her to shut up with her nonsense. Victoria F is the prime example of someone who acts one way and just acts the other.

The way she interacts with him is just so…..bitchy. Maybe you can’t give him an honest answer because you haven’t rehearsed these types of answers in your head. I hope Peter sees through her bullshit and sends her ass back to Virginia. She’ll be much happier with her former friend’s former husbands anyways. And you gave her a rose, damnit man. She won’t even look at you man, find you a woman who looks at you like a nugget meal from McDonalds…that is love. She is acting like a 6 piece nugget meal with cold fries, run.

Tammy vs Mykenna

How did this become a Tammy vs Mykenna storyline all of a sudden? Tammy is just picking fights with everyone she sees. Tammy seems to be at the point where she does not see a future with Peter and wants to drag people down. Peter just had to sit through Tammy vs Kelsey drama and how Tammy is picking another battle. Tammy is just doing too much, and needs to kick rocks. The childish banter back and forth was amusing, they both suck. It just feels like Tammy is relieved to go home, she almost saw it coming. Tammy you are the weakest link, goodbye.

Peter Picks his Top 6

Are we really surprised with who he did not give his roses to? Mykenna just doesn’t seem to fir in with Peter. I just never felt like there was really that connection or spark. Have to feel bad for Sydney, I thought she had this one in the bag. Sydney will be back for sure, she has Bachelor in Paradise in the bag. Sydney must have went from the highest of highs to go low. Peter straight up told her she is the best kisser of them all, and a day or two later goes home. Would have to be the woman Pter ends up with at the end and hears that. How bad must Mykenna feel? She just got done getting her enemy off the show and getting verification that she is right…then gets sent home an hour later.

Ah Ah Ah Ah Stayed Alive

Madison, Hannah Ann, Kelsey, Kelly, Victoria F, Natasha

Thank you!

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