Bachelor and a Bottle; 4th Down

Editors Note: At no point in your rambling, incoherent response were you even close to anything that could be considered a rational thought. Everyone in this room is now dumber for having listened to it. I award you no points, and may God have mercy on your soul.

The reaction of all of the women just says it all. We have to leave Los Angeles..for CLEVELAND?! This is laugh out loud funny to send social media influencers currently enjoying paradise in LA and relocating them to the city Baker built. Victoria F(ail) gets the first date card. From the previews I can’t wait to see what happens. I would expect from the hint of their love “soaring to new heights” they must be going to Cedar Point. I mean it’s no Holiday World and Splashing Safari, but it’ll do I guess. Victoria F all crazy about being scared to get on a plane….soooooo how did you get from Virginia Beach to Cali? She just said the bad words…she’s having the best day… Chase you DAWG!!!! The subtle, “are you two having a good time” is just perfect. Chase is just like, yeah I hit that before you bud. Victoria F just singing along to the lyrics the whole time like yeah I know how this one was written. I would not be surprised that Victoria F broke up with Chase just to be on this show. YOU TWO NEVER DATED!!!!! You and Chase would hook up but you wouldn’t commit to a relationship. Chase asked you not to go on the show, you wanted TV time. I need to hear Chase Rice speak out about this whole ordeal, I have seen reports on Twitter that he is unhappy with all of this. You really fucked this all up Victoria, I mean come on. This really isn’t that big of a deal. I feel bad for Peter, because Victoria F exaggerates EVERYTHING. “I get it if you don’t want to try with me anymore”….BOOOOO SEND HER ASS HOME!!!! Playing the innocent victim card so hard and making Peter chase him. There are so many red flags of false insecurity just radiating off her. I really want to see Victoria F on Survivor. The backstabbing and deceit she could pull off would be legendary. I needed Chase Rice to be behind that dude playing the oversized violin singing. Needed that so hard. I really hope Baker Mayfield comes out and throws some passes and overthrows every single one of them. This is by far the most competitive game played at FirstEnergy Stadium. Did these women also sign a waiver allowing the NFL to research their brains for CTE when they pass away? I mean, it is for science. Shian is a BEAST with the ball. A tie??? Are you kidding me??? I thought we left this whole tie ballgame crap in the NFL. Victoria P with the classic “work smarter, not harder”. All the women just played football and beat each other up while she just watched and talked to Peter first. Bravo. BY GAWD!!!! THAT”S ALAYAH”S MUSIC!!!! ALAYAH IS BACK FROM THE DEAD!! Alayah and Victoria P…who is lying? Why are they hugging? Victoria P has just been caught up in trying to eliminate someone else and she’s gonna get busted. This is going to cost her all of Peter’s trust and get her sent home. Peter is the king of not spending any time with the majority of the women. He is so good at just neglecting all of them mostly. Kelsey with a solid start to the date. She handled that flawlessly, basically like I don’t care about that, she’s won’t last long. Just a normal day in Cleveland, Ohio. Random polka dancing in the city is the backbone of Northwestern Ohio. I want to try and be funny…but damn this Kelsey evening date hits hard. I could not imagine having a father just up and leave, move to a different country, and simply leave everyone behind like they did not matter. Alright there needs to be some positive and happy vibes out of this, can we please get some fireworks?……..BYAAAAAAA!!!!!! Here we go! Now that the fireworks outside concluded, can we get some fireworks at the penthouse? Oh here, we, go. I am so here for this. Victoria F(ail) preaching about someone being fake and calling Alayah out is laugh out loud funny. Peter could not have fucked this all up any more. He just keeps digging a deeper hole every time he opens his mouth. Victoria P GO OFF!!!! It really must be so embarrassing to say you dated Chase Rice huh Victoria F(ail)? No rose ceremony, no context, and I am so into this. God bless the USA, and God bless The Bachelor producers. Respect the Kobe by Victoria F when shooting around, but Peter….dude…..Michael Scott is a better spot up shooter. Fix your jumper and fix your head because you make no sense this season.

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